Hound mound

Toy vending machine in Taipei

Fusilli face

I’ll never look at the corkscrew-shaped pasta the same way again.

In my latest unusual dream, my father is horribly disfigured by an unknown disease.

Half of his face has become transparent, revealing that his entire head is filled with murky water and fusilli.

I swear I’m not making this up.

Armrests are not footrests

I was on the plane to Amsterdam, trying to get some sleep after dinner. Dad was seated next to me.

Then I discovered something at the back of the armrest. It was a toe.

The woman behind us had put her foot through the space between me and dad, and laid it on my armrest.

The gentlemanly response would be to patiently explain to her the differences between an armrest and a footrest, but I’m never much of a gentleman.

Instead, I rolled the vomit bag into a mini-baton and gave her toe a tender knock, together with a glance that said: “Do that again, and you’ll walk differently for the rest of your life.”

She should be thankful that the dinner utensils were already collected, because at that moment I was tempted to saw her toe off.

Lingerie, or the Eiffel Tower?

Love is in the hair

I’m one of the few people who find dyed hair a turnoff.

The fact that I’m Chinese might make you think I only like persons with black hair. No. I have no aversion to any hair colour, as long as it is the one the person is born with.

Some offenders are worse than others. On the extreme end of the spectrum, there are people whose hair colour draws suspicion that one or more of his ancestors must be a peacock. Brazen golden highlights are an eyesore. Subtle dyes are less aesthetically criminal, but the original colour is still the best of all.

This is because hair is an important element of romantic attraction and intimacy. When you run your hand through the hairs of your sweetheart, you don’t want some obscure chemicals to get in the way. Yuck! It ruins everything. This is like eating a piece of exquisite gourmet cake with the plastic wrap on.

第一次拍攝月亮

昨日是中秋佳節，全家到維園賞月。

本來以為拍月亮一定要300mm長鏡和三腳架，不過這張以D80 kit鏡手持拍攝的（1/80s, f/5.6, 125mm, ISO: 200），效果也比想像中好。

城市人習慣了燈火通明，不知道月光的重要。聽長輩說，以前在農村，在沒有月光的日子，晚上是伸手不見五指的。

Happy hour

All he needs for a happy hour is a stool and some newspaper.

不應該養的狗

很久沒有這麼熱了。今天回到家時，室內竟然有三十二度，而且當時差不多是晚上十一點！

從村巴下車到電梯大堂，短短幾分鐘的路程，衣服便已濕透。

不過，人尚且可以排汗，但狗只能靠伸舌散熱。偏偏本屋苑有個規定，在屋苑公眾範圍，大犬必須戴口罩，其辛苦可想而知。

今晚乘電梯時，有一外籍男子攜犬進入，而那隻狗是戴了口罩的。

該犬進電梯時便已在索索呼氣，顯然是呼吸困難。牠不斷把頭在主人腿上磨擦，哀求主人把口罩脫下。主人不忍心愛犬受苦，但又不能違例，只能說些安慰的話。

就在我想叫他脫口罩的時候，電梯便到達我的樓層，那主人馬上替牠除下口罩。我回頭一看，那隻狗的表情……怎樣形容好呢？如果你在三十幾度的高溫下，在街上跑幾個圈，然後走到風扇前，再照照鏡，看到的表情應該差不多。

從那隻狗的身形來看，似乎是頗為慓悍的品種，可是在高溫煎熬下，完全是病犬的樣子，真看得人心酸。

我在屋苑見過不少滿身長毛的大狗，每次我心裏都會問：這些狗，是否真的適合在香港飼養？

我相信牠們的長毛，是為了適應原產地的氣候而演化出來。那麼，其原產地的天氣應該頗為寒冷。不過一旦處於香港的炎夏，這些長毛不能說脫就脫，便成了負累。

又，大狗需要不少活動空間，香港一般幾百呎的單位，能否為牠們提供足夠的地方舒展？

本屋苑最大的單位為1,200多呎，我就當你買了兩個大單位打通，2,500呎，夠大了吧？不過，單位裏擺滿傢俬雜物，狗只能在狹窄的空間中繞圈，與在外國的花園、草地上盡情奔跑根本不能相比。就算單位呎數再大，也只能讓狗繞多幾個圈而已。

因此我覺得，除非你家有大花園，否則在市區最好還是不要養太大的狗。

Au revoir, Paris

Terminal 2 of Charles de Gaulle Airport, gilded by the setting sun

紙張不要隨地亂放

有人亂拋香蕉皮，令後面的人滑倒，是電視裏常見的情節。不過在現實生活中，紙張其實比蕉皮更危險。因為隨街吃香蕉的人畢竟不多，但亂丟紙張的敗類卻有不少，而紙張一樣容易令人滑倒。

現在街上到處都有人派傳單，有些人隨手拿了，隨手就丟在路上，十分缺德。不過，這還未算最壞。

最無品的，是把傳單丟在樓梯上。

我每天上班，都要走一條又長又斜的樓梯進入地鐵站，而那裏滿地都是亂丟的單張。試想象，繁忙時間有多少人會仔細看路？萬一有人滑倒，再加上骨牌效應，後果會怎樣？

寫這個，是因為今早上班時，不經意發現公司門下夾著兩張紙。那是茶餐廳的外賣紙，顏色還與地板相當接近。

真是豈有此理！那人為其麼其他地方不放，偏偏要放在正門底下？那是人人必經之處，踏中滑倒的機會極高。我們這樓層還有孕婦，萬一弄得人家胎兒有甚麼閃失，真是冤枉之極。

那人是故意把傳單放在當眼位置，加強宣傳效果，還是根本沒有想到當中的危險？後者的話，簡直無腦；前者的話，就是極度自私和不負責任。

於是我馬上把外賣紙拾起，丟進垃圾桶。

不過事後回想，應該先打電話給餐廳，反映一下其員工的做法有何不妥，否則下次可能會有人中招。我這次有欠周詳了。